I have to admit that I have changed a lot. I had introduced myself to others by saying, “Hi, I am J's mother” or “A's mom” rather than my own name. Another mother 1 asked me, “And do you have a(n)2?”
My friend 3 me a few days before. I kept on talking for five minutes about my4. When I 5, she asked, “So, is there anything going on with 6 ?”
At first, I didn't understand 7 she was asking me that. Hadn't I just told her what was going on with me? But then I realized that8 I said had actually been about myself. It was all about my kids. I love being a mom. The kids were my world.9 , it was my kids' world, and I just lived in it and 10it didn't fall apart.
The phone call with my friend made me 11 that I needed to start thinking about who else I am 12 being a mother. I realized that to be a good 13, I also had to be my own person—not just someone who only14to take care of other people.
I joined a club and started doing some volunteer work. I took a writing class online. I am now a regular 15 to several magazines and write a monthly blog. I don't make a lot of money by writing, but I feel more 16 as a person. I am 17 and growing, and that makes me more 18and a better mother.
Now when I19 myself, I say, “Hi, my name is Randi,” and it feels 20 to be me.
Hundreds of people have formed impressions of you through that little device (装置) on your desk. And they've never actually 1you. Everything they know about you2 through this device, sometimes from hundreds of miles away3they feel they can know you 4 from the sound of your voice. That's how powerful the5 is.
Powerful, yes, but not always 6. For years I dealt with my travel agent only by phone. Rani, my faceless agent whom I'd never met7got me rock-bottom prices on airfares, cars, and hotels. But her cold voice really 8 me. I sometimes wished to9 another agent.
One morning, I had to 10 an immediate flight home for a family emergency. I ran into Rani's office 11. The woman sitting at the desk12 my madness, sympathetically jumped up. She gave me a 13 smile, nodded while listening patiently, and then printed out the 14 immediately. “What a wonderful lady!” I thought.
Rushing out 15 I called out over my shoulder, “By the way, what's your name?” “I'm Rani,” she said. I turned around and saw a 16 woman with a big smile on her face waving to wish me a safe trip. I was 17! Why had I thought she was cold? Rani was, well, so 18.
Sitting back in the car on the way to the airport, I figured it all out. Rani's 19—her warm smile, her nods, her 'I'm here for you'20—were all silent signals that didn't travel through wires.
Learning to Accept
I learned how to accept life as it is from my father. 1, he did not teach me acceptance when he was strong and healthy, but rather when he was 2and ill.
My father was 3a strong man who loved being active, but a terrible illness4 all that away. Now he can no longer walk, and he must sit quietly in a chair all day. E ven talking is 5. One night, I went to visit him with my sisters. We started6about life, and I told them about one of my 7. I said that we must very often give up things 8we grow—our youth, our beauty, our friends—but it always9that after we give something up, we gain something new in its place. Then suddenly my father10up. He said, “But, Peter, I gave up 11! What did I gain?” I thought and thought, but I could not think of anything to say. 12, he answered his own question: “I 13 the love of my family.” I looked at my sisters and saw tears in their eyes, along with hope and thankfulness.
I was also14 by his words. After that, when I began to feel irritated (恼怒的) at someone, I would remember his 15 and become16. If he could replace his great pain with a feeling of love for others, then I should be 17 to give up my small irritations. In this 18, I learned the power of acceptance from my father.
Sometimes I 19what other things I could have learned from him if I had listened more carefully when I was a boy. For now, though, I am grateful for this one 20.
After working an inhuman 8-hour shift at a factory unloading(卸货) parts for cheap furniture, I got on the bus, dirty, tired and hot. I 1 that place every day looking like I worked in a coal mine. 2 I still felt a bit proud of myself as I had held this tiring job for 3 months, which was extremely rare. So when I took my seat on the bus going home, I decided my 3 life would not lower my spirit today.
I was dreaming about a better and new life when I was 4 by our new passenger. She was a middle-aged woman with worn-out clothes and messy hair. She got on, aggressively and 5 pushed her way into a front seat, and then turned her glare and6 on whoever dared to look her way.
All I could feel for this woman was 7. There was no disgust. Only pity and the familiar knowledge of being faceless, nameless, and 8 to no one. Suddenly, she turned her threatening eyes towards me and very loudly yelled, “Why you so 9 man?”
With a smile, I said “I just came from work.” She then loudly asked if I worked in hell and broke out in laughter..., so I laughed too—10 her and told her that was funny. Then I asked her her name as I 11 why I was so dirty. Her name was Karen.
In front of all of us on the bus that day, the power of 12 showed its beauty. In front of all of us this woman 13. Her language, her posture, the tone and lilt of her voice, —even the way she tilted her head when I spoke to her as a 14 changed.
As Karen was getting off the bus, she touched me15 on the arm. With tear-filled eyes, she asked whether I'd be riding the bus the next day. I promised I 16 We waved to each other and then I got what my life had needed all along: affirmation(认可).
Everyone on the bus had been watching us and then an old woman spoke to me: “Sir, you just changed that woman with your heart. She will never forget how you17 her. You are great.” Other passengers gave me thumbs-up signs showing their18.
That day was the first day when I realized I am 19. People say I gave Karen something that day but actually she 20 me so much more. I now work in the field of mental health. I often tell the story of the power of kindness, and I talk about Karen and unlimited possibilities.
Recently, I was diagnosed (诊断) with an incurable illness. And after that, I gave up 1. Although I was able to pass my test last year, I stopped 2when I turned 90. I thought that it was finally the right time.
Needless to say, my family and my doctor were 3to hear my decision, As I4over the keys of the car to my son, I thought of all the cars my wife and I had5 over the years. A car is6 independence, and an extension of your personality. Without one, you feel like7of a person. Now, my son often drives me to the city center and my neighbors also offer me8when I'm on the way to the market. But after a lifetime of independence, the idea of being dependent 9other people is hard to 10. With my own car, I could go anywhere 11. But now, my horizons ( 眼界) have 12and I must plan ahead for everything. Luckily, I've learned to face it and 13and I found a(n)14to some of those problems. Last year, I15to buy a nice new four-wheel electric scooter(轻便摩托车), which made my route free from 16and noise, with trees and green plants 17cars and street signs.
Giving up something is hard, and some of us never accept the 18. For me, however, it wаѕ juѕt thе 19оf а lоng аnd luсkу lіfе. Lіfе іn thе ѕlоw lаnе (车道) turnеd оut tо bе ѕо much fun and so much20.
I should know. I have been doing this for 20 years. Why is it that I need a sign to remind me?
Every other week in my neighborhood we place either recycled bottles or paper out with our garbage. There is a 1 alongside the road that says "This is bin week" or "This is paper week".The schedule is simply changed every other week. But I can never 2 which week is which. Every week, I make a(n) 3 to look for the sign.
There was a period a few months ago when no one changed the sign.
I had 4 emotions. I was confused, angry and concerned. Confused because I didn't know what to do. 5 because someone should have changed it！Concerned because, after 6 that "someone" for almost twenty years, I 7 that perhaps something had happened to that "someone".
Then, yesterday I finally saw the man who 8 the sign. I slowed down and wanted to tell him how much I 9 what he did. I didn't stop in time 10 I found that the traffic sign said "The Next Exit Is 2km". So I drove as the traffic sign 11 .
By the time I got back, the man was gone. I felt so 12. I should have stopped alongside the road and just said "thank you". I pulled over in front of the sign and thought about how many times in my life I 13 a sign to tell me what to do. I was 14 that all too often I missed an 15 because I was looking for a sign. Today I wanted to tell "someone" how 16 I think their efforts are but missed the opportunity.
So, I wrote a 17 and placed it next to the sign.
If you have been 18 to move forward towards a dream, say 19 to someone who lends you a hand. This may be the sign you've been looking for.
The note 20, "This is do it now week."
Last year my children gifted me a stainless steel coffee plunger(咖啡壶). I love to start the day with a strong black coffee and couldn't wait to use it. I look forward to the following1coffee making, knowing that I probably wouldn't break this plunger as easily as I had done so often in the past.
But as I poured my first cup of coffee, the plunger2all over the table.3no one was around to see my4face! I kept trying, but each morning would5me wiping up the6. I realized that if I poured very slowly there would be no spilling.
This was at first a very painful7. My normal practice was to8breakfast so that I could get on with my day.9, in time I learned not only to pour slowly but to10the experience: the smell, the taste, and the stillness of a new day.
It helped me to11upon whether there were other areas of my life I was rushing through. Most of life, it seemed.
I started to12extra time to do even the most ordinary tasks. When shop owners would13for keeping me waiting, I'd say, "Not a problem, I'm not in a hurry." Even hanging out washing became pleasurable when a couple of extra minutes of standing still and14the birds singing in the trees around me became part of my routine.
Besides, one of my favorite experiences living in the inner city for many years was sitting on the front doorstep of our home spending time with15. We sat on the16, each of us with a cup of hot coffee in our hands, listening to each other's stories. It was one of the17things about living in a busy city. It was as if the world around us slowed to a pace we could both18.
19and quietness not only slow the pace of life, but also20the soul, helping us to enjoy the world's small pleasure.
My mom and dad have been married for 50 years. They have managed their marriage quite1. Yet when I chose to get 2, I didn't ask them for any tips or 3 on what to expect about married life. This is due to my strong-willed nature and, I was 4 that I had picked a great guy. What could go5?
Well, something did go wrong. The two of us, my husband and I, got a 6. I thought any advice my father would have to offer me about my future relationships would be 7, until he texted me one day to ask how I was doing. I was feeling 8 that particular day. It's hard as a headstrong, outgoing, and loud woman to find a man that can 9 my intelligence, strength, humor, and noisiness, obviously. My ex-husband 10 my writing and didn't like my sense of humor, which was hard to 11 considering I am a writer. He didn't like that I was 12 in public sometimes, either, even when I didn't mean to be.
"Dad," I texted. "I'm feeling down. I just wonder if I will ever meet someone who will 13 me as I am. Maybe there is no one. All men seem to want nice little 14 women."
"No one is 15. Everyone comes with problems. Marriage is about accepting someone despite the person's 16 and loving them just as he or she comes." he responded.
Toward the end of our marriage, I was 17 in "negative thought". I had always been thinking 18 of him. Maybe, so it was with my ex-husband. I realized what was wrong with our 19 and what I should do in my future 20. A few words from my father changed my life.
A woman professor was giving a lesson to her students on 1 management. As she raised a glass of water, everyone in the class 2 they would be asked the "half-empty or half-full" question.3, that was not the case. With a smile on her face, she asked the students, "How much do you think this glass of water weighs?"
Answers called out 4 from eight to twenty ounces (盎司).
She quieted the students down and then replied, "The absolute weight doesn't 5. But it counts how long you hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it is OK. If I hold it for an hour, I will have an ache in my 6. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb. In each case, the 7 of the glass of water doesn't change, but the 8 I hold it, the heavier it becomes. Why?"
Lost in 9, all the students kept silent and listened to the professor carefully.
"Our stresses and 10 in life are like that glass of water. If we 11 our burdens all the time, sooner or later, we will feel exhausted, even unable to 12."
13 you have to do is put all your burdens down, as 14 in the evening as possible. Don't carry them through the evening into the night; by doing this, we can get 15 next morning and are 16 to move forward.
More often than not, life gets terrible when we 17 too much. And the moment you 18 your burdens, you'll find yourself feeling so much more relaxed.
So rather than being upset and feeling 19 for yourself, start doing something about it. After all, life is too short to 20 yourself to anything that is not making you happy.
My father was born in a small town in the US. He wasn't sure what he wanted from 1, but something told him to 2 and begin a new adventure. He began that adventure traveling to cities in the US before going on to Australia, New Zealand and the Philippines. He took my mother and us three daughters with him and went wherever the road 3 him.
It's easy to feel 4 when you're on the road. We made lots of new friends on our trip — most of them are mechanics, since we often 5 hours in repair shops. But that was a way much 6 than sitting by the roadside while waiting for the engine to 7 when it was 40℃ outside.
Getting along well sometimes seemed 8. There were always a lot of 9, especially among us back-seat passengers about who had to 10 in the middle. But even if it was hard, we learned a lot about 11. When we were traveling in the Philippines, we drove to Quezon City one day. It should have been an hour's drive but was nearly three thanks to bad roads and 12 traffic. "Did you put our suitcases in the car?" my father asked my mother as we arrived there. From the back seat, we saw her slowly turn towards my father. "No," she said. "I thought you did." That was how a three-hour car trip turned into a nine-hour one, which was mostly spent in 13.
On occasions like that, we had to learn to let go of our anger because we were 14 in a rolling box with the same people for the rest of the 15. Even if I sometimes felt like opening the car door and 16 one of my sisters out, I kept my feelings to myself.
This is why road trips were like 17 universities to us. We 18 our PHDs in how to get along with other people just by traveling in our old car.
If we were 19 given a second chance at life, we would do it all over again. Only this time would I put the 20 in the car myself.
Yesterday I took my boys through the drive thru at McDonald's. It was a hot day and they wanted a nice cool 1. So I said yes.
As I ordered I remembered a2I made to myself a year ago.
The promise is that every time I drive through the drive thru, I pay for the car3 me. I made this promise 4 I go through the drive thru about 4 times a year. So it's an easy one to keep and up until yesterday, I have 5that promise.
As I drove around to pay the cashier the $ 6 for our 6I really did not want to pay for the car7behind me.
In my head I begun to8 myself out of it.
"It's OK Nicole; you don't have to".
"This isn't a(n) 9time. You haven't much money this week".
"And what if it's a $ 40 order or10!"
That's when the other 11stepped into my head. It's never my own. It's the wise voice, saying, "It's 12the time that you do it! It's 13and good when you're happy and rich. But love and kindness doesn't 14that way. It's conditional and only given when it15 you!"
So I 16 it. I asked the cashier to 17the car order behind me to my card. Thankfully it was only $2. 95. Can you believe it?
18, that isn't the point. The point is that I did it. By doing it I 19someone's day, and 20them that there's love and kindness in this world.
I had an interesting question from my 10-year-old daughter Claire. She asked me if I had always been this confident. I thought about it for a while and gave her the best answer in terms of my own personal development.
I was born and1in a small town in Zambia. From a very young age I was encouraged to 2 the world and ask as many questions as I could. My grandfather was a(n) 3 holding a high position in the government, but he treated everyone with 4 like what others did to him. And I often watched him 5 with people that way. As a child, I was determined to be like him 6 I grew up. I wanted to make people feel good about 7 and have meaningful conversations that would 8 people to take action and create a better world for everyone.
As an ordinary African girl, I know what life had to 9. And I also knew that I would have some bad days as well as good days. I saw this with my parents, as they 10 hid their feelings or situations. And from that, I had a 11 view of my reality.
I tell Claire that my confidence comes from within and I am bound to 12 moments when I'm worried about whether things will work in my 13, but I have the courage not to give up on my dreams. It's the strong belief that I am good enough and I can do it that has had me going for the last 20 years. A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid that the branch will 14 because its trust is not on the branch but on its own 15. Always believe in yourself.
Some of the greatest problems we face today are concerned with the gradual destruction of our environment. Brown clouds; wildlife 1; polluted water. These 2 all seem so huge. So my family does what we can. We take cloth bags to stores instead of using plastic bags. We walk where we don't have to 3.
But does it do any good?
I recently learned something about flamingos (火烈鸟). These beautiful birds gather in 4 groups of a thousand or more. Every year, when the time 5 for migration, a few flamingos start the process by taking off from the lake. But 6 of the others seem to notice, so the tiny group returns.
However, the next day they 7 again. This time a few more struggle along with them, but the vast majority still 8 no attention, so these pioneers come back.
The 9 continues for several more days. Every time a few more birds join in but, 10 the thousands of others still take no 11, the great migration plan is once again 12.
Then one day something 13. The same small group of birds takes wing and a tiny number more join in, just as before. And this time their total number, though still quite 14, is enough to tip the balance. As one, the whole group takes flight and the migration 15. What a 16 sight it must be – thousands of flamingos taking to the sky at once!
A few can make a 17. It's true that all of the great problems of the world have been solved because of the 18 efforts of a few.
If you believe in a cause (事业), don't 19! Others will someday take notice and together we will 20 even our greatest problems.
I moved to a new city and took a job in marketing. I didn't really understand whether it 1 me. I enjoyed doing things that I felt had 2 —I could see their benefit and feel their impact. As the months passed, I felt it just wasn't for me. I needed to find a way out.
A job advertisement for a(n) 3 for a new youth magazine came at exactly the right time. I applied and was 4. My role was to help teams of young people edit their 5 and help them with their work. I had assumed the magazine would be a(n) 6 of games and dull reviews, so I was 7 when one of the first pieces written was about social welfare. 8, I found something I was interested in.
I felt a 9 in me straight away. I had a purpose again. Days were lost to discussing hot topics and 10 the words of their strong and opinionated(坚持己见的) voices. 11 in their world, I could see myself making a difference to the team's 12 ability. As our website hits 13 and the work shifted to reflect what our 14 wanted, I developed a greater 15 of what young people might want to read.
The biggest change the job brought, 16, was to my well-being. It is rare you find yourself in a job you love, one that you are happy to 17 each day. I was thriving(充实) in this 18 environment, inspired by the talented young people I was helping to 19 their careers.
Now, I realize that there are jobs that will keep you happy, 20 and inspired.
I'm entering my eighth year teaching preschool. I've never got tired of it, because1 year is ever the same. Sometimes our school brings new staff and new students' families who are 2 with the purposeful aesthetic（美学）our school seeks for. So I am eager to show them around my classroom with the of 3 to help them sense our school philosophy ——supporting creativity, learning and 4 for children. Their nodding and smile make me feel it will be another 5 new school year.
All of the walls in my classroom start out very 6 They are plain in color. All I will do is give students the great beauty in the physical environment with my philosophy. First, I arrange all the children's first names in a circle on the wall, 7 traditional number lines or alphabet order, which may make students feel discriminated. I like it when children see their names and have a sense of 8 to our class community. 9 I have a sign on our paper towel holder that is a 10 of how many paper towels we use, because we are showing our 11 to the Earth and will be starting with what we can do for the Earth within our classroom. I also have a small sign about our voice scale, which gives a 12 to distinguish indoor and outdoor voice level, and then I use the language all the time 13 , "Shh — Let's bring our voices down to a Number 2 or 3. "For the 14 part, the walls belong to the children, and the children will 15 the lively color and decorations in the room through their paintings to relieve their tension between lessons. The walls I place value on give an excellent way to show that students' well-being and the talent of art are valued.
Aesthetics of the walls affect their emotional responses. I am proud I can provide such a class community where my students feel happy, motivated and respected.
I enjoy feeding birds in my garden. About three years ago, a baby chipmunk (花栗鼠) which I named Chip came to this festive display. Over that summer, I watched it 1. The next summer, the chipmunk was back, and I wondered whether it would 2 me to feed it by hand or let me pet it. Before Chip would approach, I'd 3 its favorite food, bend down and keep very 4. I'd leave my open hand 5, unmoving, so the animal would know I wouldn't 6it. I continued doing this for a few weeks.
7, late in that second summer, Chip did show more trust. One day as I 8 a seed with my fingertips, it approached and 9 took the seed into its mouth. It never bit my fingers.
I was happy that Chip and I had made a(n) 10of trust.
After about two months of this 11, I went further. With my index finger, I 12 its back once gently. I'm not even sure Chip felt it, but it didn't 13. I then moved my two fingers slowly and gently over it.14, Chip stayed calm, eating seeds, before running quickly back into the bush.
Today, the chipmunk comes out of hiding when I call its name, and lets me 15 its soft, silky body.
A friend once mentioned that after she 16 a dog, she noticed that her high blood pressure had approached17without medication, and she became calmer and could handle stress better. I think I, too, feel18from my interactions with Chip.
I've also developed a greater19for nature and its creatures and the opportunity to observe, protect and save wildlife. Most of all, I am amazed by the 20of a tiny chipmunk to meet me halfway in trust.
Since our twins began learning to walk, my wife and I have kept telling them that our sliding glass door is j ust a window. The1is obvious. If we 2it is a door, they'll want to go outside 3. It will drive us crazy. The kids apparently know the 4 But our insisting it's 5 a window has kept them from6millions of requests to open the door.
I hate lying to the kids. One day they'll 7and discover that everything they've always known about windows is a8.
I wonder if 9 should always tell the truth no matter the 10 I have a very strong11 that the lie we're telling is doing 12 damage to our children. Windows and doors have13 metaphorical(比喻) meanings. I'm telling them they can't open what they absolutely know is a door. What if later in14 they come to a metaphorical door, like an opportunity(机会) of some sort, and 15opening the door and taking the opportunity, they just16it and wonder, "What if it isn't a door?" That is, "What if it isn't a17opportunity?"
Maybe it's an unreasonable fear. But the 18 is that I shouldn't lie to my kids. I should just19 repeatedly having to say, "No. We can't go outside now." Then when they come to other doors in life, be they real or metaphorical, they won't 20to open them and walk through.
Standing by a lake, I was amazed at so many small rocks surrounding my boots. They were all created from1surfaces, their edges softening over time.
Seeing them, I wonder what can be learnt from the rocks. As we know, even the tallest mountains can become flatter or2, not as tall as they were 1000 years ago. Just like the rocks, I find my desire to better understand other people has3with each trip around the world.
Once, I too was a4rock. After decades of the water of life5over me, my edges are softer and more understanding. I'm less likely to argue but more interested in learning how we can6together.
Recently, while traveling in the Pacific Northwest, I watched a7owner ask several young men to8because they didn't wear masks. On the door read a9: "Please wear a mask before entering our restaurant. We don't like it either, but let's do what we can to10this together." The group of people argued about the note11.
I sat12, understanding both sides. I've been those men before, using my13edges to chip away at (削弱，蚕食) the world.14, now I realize that what I lost was the ability to put myself in others'15. Learning to be more16, I've found more happiness.
Time, like the waters rolling against once sharp stones,17us and lets us see the world from 18point of view.
I placed a19stone into my pocket. Mother Nature is20a class again.
The first prize usually goes to the swiftest, but sometimes, the first one to cross the finish line isn't the only winner. Nowhere was that more1than in a recent race in Shelbyville, Indiana. With less than a mile to go, Levi LaGrange from Western Boone High School accidentally2a small stone on the rough ground, twisting his ankle. He signaled to Sheridan High School senior Axel Aleman that he could3him, but at that moment, the race became a matter Aleman was less4about. "I saw he was in5, "Aleman recalled （回忆）." As I got closer to him, he was6to move. I asked if he was fine. He said he felt like something broken. "
In an extraordinary act of true sportsmanship, Aleman7to leave LaGrange behind. Placing an encouraging hand at the back of his8_, for the rest leg of the race, Aleman9with LaGrange. The two crossed the10and Aleman even ensured LaGrange went first.
LaGrange's mother was impressed by Aleman's thoughtful11一 especially since the two had12met before. "It takes a lot for an 18-year-old to13his position in the competition," she said. "Axel never left Levi's side." Aleman's own mother,14, was not at all surprised by his son's goodwill. "It really speaks to Axel's15. He is always concerned about others more than himself, "she said.
When you're standing at a crossroad-or running by it-you can choose the path of16, or you can go the extra mile for someone17. For this teen athlete, the18is clear. While we might not always recognize when life hands us a 19for grace （风度）, when it does, in the words of Axel Aleman, "I would just really hope people do the20thing."
Eradajere Oleita thinks she may have got something about the 1 to two of her country's problems: garbage and poverty. It is called the Chip （薯片）Bag Project. The 26—year—old student and environmentalist is asking a 2 of local snack lovers: Rather than throw empty chip bags into garbage cans, 3 them so she can turn them into sleeping bags for the 4.
Chip eaters 5 their empty bags at two locations in Detroit: a print shop and a clothing store, where
Oleita and her volunteer helpers 6 them. After they disinfect （消毒）the chip bags in soapy hot water, they slice them open, 7 them flat, and iron them together. Then they use cotton and liners （衬层）from old coats to line the insides. It takes about four hours to 8 a sleeping bag, and each takes around 150 to 300 chip bags, 9 on whether they're single—serve or family size. Since its start in 2020, the Chip Bag Project has 10 110 sleeping bags. Sure, it would be 11 to raise the money to buy new sleeping bags. However, that's only half the 12 for Oleita. "We aim to make a（an）13 not only socially, but environmentally," said Oleita. "It is worth 14 chip bags and using them to help the homeless. 15, they would land in the garbage.
